Music is the window to Expression

            I feel the ear buds fill my ears with pounding drums, daring guitar solos, and dark voices. How did I start listening to punk music? 3 words; Never Shout Never. I started listening to Never Shout Never in 6th grade. I had 3 songs that I would constantly listen to, and ever since 7th grade, and I never knew what genre they were.

            I scroll through my many Pandora stations, with my ear buds in my ears; my mum tells me that I wear them so much, that she’s convinced that they just grew to my ears. I click on my usual station; Never Shout Never, and I look down and read the bands bio. “Never Shout Never is a one-man band featuring Christofer Drew, a Missouri native whose songs straddle the border between emo and acoustic singer/songwriter fare.” “What does emo music sound like?” I ponder. I click the “create new station” button, and type emo.

            Waiting patiently, I sit there and bounce my leg up and down really fast; I am so excited to find new music. Finally, the first song starts playing. It’s Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance. I listen to song after song, but the first song would not get out of my head. “I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone.” Those lyrics spoke to me, they gave me comfort.

            I never meant to like this kind of music; it’s just that I connect with it. Nobody has ever given me any problems with the kind of music I like, so I just kept on listening. I love to talk about music. Music inspires me, it gives me hope, and it makes me feel happy. So of course I talk about music a lot.

            “Hey mom, you know the band My Chemical Romance?”

            “Yeah, I’ve heard of them. Aren’t they kinda old?”

            “Yeah, but that doesn’t make them any worse. Have you ever heard of the band… Wait, I know it… umm, oh yeah! Sleeping with Sirens?”

            “No, Sleeping with Sirens; that’s a cool name. How did you get introduced with these bands?”

            “Well, Kelly has just introduced me to newer bands also. I love them!”

            “What kind of music are they?”

            “I don’t really know, I think its like, punk? And a little rock.”

            “Oh, that’s cool.”

            So I never really told my parents that I liked emo music. I don’t really even like admitting that I like it either, because so many negative thoughts go along with that word, doesn’t it? And yet, I have found it the best way to express myself. The lyrics that the artists use are so inspiring, and just, unique. I always like to read through the lyrics of songs and wonder what they mean. I love the one lyric, “I am the ocean, I am the sea. There is a world inside of me.”

            I never knew how much my music could influence my emotions. But sometimes I feel like my emotions change my music too. I noticed how I like my music a little bit stronger when I’m sadder.

            Looking out of the window from my bed, I watch as the cars pass by. I feel so many emotions, but I choose not to show any. I need to feel something, I just feel numb, and stiff as a rock.  I trudge over to my computer. I flip it open, and I make a new station. I sit like a statue, listening to my new genre.  I hear voices roaring through the ear buds. The effect that the music had on me was like the effect when you blow up a deflated balloon. I feel this rush of emotion course through my veins. I feel as if I am on top of the world instead of “watching the world from the dark side of the moon”.

            Music has let me vent emotions I never knew I had deep down inside of me. I never tell people how I’m actually feeling, because I feel even worse when they find out. Music is a window to expressing my whole life.